What does it take to write a really good love letter?
What characteristics do successful love letters share?
I expected to find widely varying opinions in my research from culture to culture, and generation to generation. Surprisingly, the characteristics have remained consistent for over two centuries!
The best love letters are:
Original
Personal
Emotional
Sincere
Originality
The best love letters are "originals," unlike any other letter ever sent, in one way or another. That's not to say that you should never borrow or purchase the sentiments expressed by someone else, someone with an exceptional talent for expressing universal feelings of love. We do that very thing when we pick out the perfect greeting card for a loved one, or when we dedicate a song to someone, the song that expresses our feelings better than we ever could on our own.
BUT... when it comes to love letters, it's important to take an extra step: adding your own original touches to the borrowed or purchased work and words. A few sentences or short verses that are specific to your intended love go a long way towards establishing affection and creating an original letter.
Of course, even better is the completely original love letter composed entirely by the sender. Learning to write your own letters ensures that no one will ever express feelings for this person in the exact same way that you do. It sets you apart from everyone else in your lover's eyes and shows your personality and style exclusively.
Personal
Closely related to the idea of originality is the idea of creating a personal love letter. In this instance, "personal" means a letter that is directly related to and complimentary of the person receiving the letter. The content of a love letter should be so specific to the person receiving it that no one else could mistake it as their own. Personal content in a love letter implies a closeness and intimacy unique to a specific couple, and includes details and references to experiences shared by the couple.
Emotional
An effective love letter must be based on emotions. It should not be based on infatuation or used as a tool to manipulate the recipient's emotions. Remaining focused on positive emotions such as love, hope, and joy, lifts the reader's spirit both when the love letter is received and later, when the treasured letter is re-read.
Sincere
Lastly, it is important for a love letter to be sincere. Again, good love letters are not tools of manipulation to be used for ulterior motives. The sentiments expressed in your letter must be true and appropriate to the stage of the relationship you are in, if they are to be well-accepted. The deeper the relationship has developed, and the longer it has lasted, the more intense the expression of emotion can be. Too much intensity of feelings too soon may be perceived as desperate and insincere. In a new relationship, especially, desperation or insincerity can frighten your lover away. You should strive always to sincerely express your feelings and intentions while matching your sincerity to the level of commitment in the relationship.
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